Farm Fresh!

There are a zillion almost-beens this post could have been about. I finally almost lost my boring-as-a-checked-shirt job. My under-grads almost turned in their assignments on time. Zohan almost got potty trained. Sammy almost decided he would never have a third drink again. And then something actually happened. FarmVille became a phenomenon. Half of my friends list on Facebook was playing it, obsessing about it, running their lives along superberry cycles, filling up my homepage and their profiles with completely avoidable FV data, running intensive farms, and I’m fairly sure, dreaming about the damned application or having nightmares about withering crops.

So, the world had changed and the axis was now the bizzarely unreal, addictive, FarmVille. Now, no moral high ground here. I’ve been as obsessive as the worst of the lot. Have woken up to harvest, plough and plant. Have stayed up all obscene hours. Have shamelessly harangued friends for gifts and neighbor requests. Have let my social life go to the dogs-or, to be exact- to the one dog in my life. Have slept with the red of superberries burnt onto my retina. But I do think the worst is finally over. No more 4-hour cycles…or maybe, a little bit of cheating and a few blackberries sneaked in..just a few. No more mindless competition with Sammy boy, no more late dinners because ploughing up a 20x20 farm takes forever. And no more guilt for being half an hour late in tending to that batch of blueberries. Hola! Liberation!

But even while I cut that umbilical cord and let my farm recede into the background of my consciousness, here’s a list of my favourite FarmVille moments. After all, every meaningful relationship deserves a loving obit.

#1- Sunday morning, break of dawn in the Sharma-Das household at about 9:30 am and Sammy boy wakes up, blinks thrice, and, get this-gets out of bed-to take care of the carrots he planted last evening! And FV’s just accomplished what two years of consistent nagging couldn’t.

#2- VD, super busy dad of three-month old Annie, makes a frantic call asking to be sent either a goat or a date tree for him to get that all-important “Gifted, Not Spoilt” Blue Ribbon.

#3- My third-year under-grad class, full of FV freaks, has run out of excuses for why I should let them off early and suggests, “Why don’t you go down to the staff room and grow something on your farm?” Needless to say, I considered.

#4- Vishesh joins FV and I get to call him UNCLE yet again!

#5- Katty, beloved narcissistic friend, keeps continually criticizing the application and keeps continually sending me cows. Long live the eternal contradiction of the female mind!

#6- Anupama’s little princess discovers her virtual playground in my farm. Here’s a three year old who’s for sure going to head the new generation of net nerds.

#7- Manjit actually uses the word “Communist” for something he is doing! No reasons necessary.

And now, the carrots are ready, the tomatoes have been waiting for almost an hour, level 32 beckons, and I really must go! Catch you guys at the new Greenhouse.