Still Searching

I was lost when you last saw me
The sky had ruptured
The clouds were coloured with ugly ire.
Sallow rain punctuated the wind's consistent wail.
A darkness had descended
Inside or outside
Where was my point of reference?
The arms of my compass?
Was what you called me my name?
An intimacy or defining a distance?
Or just a filler for that studied indifference?
I didn't know then
I can't pretend to know now.
But has it been so long already?
Or has that apathy you guarded so jealously
Finally seeped into me too?
A creepy kind of osmosis.
And even now I keep looking
Searching
Searching
For that one word
That one familiar face
Maybe a voice
Anything to clear the cobwebs,
To recognize that reflection.
I do not know
If she who stares back so resolutely
Is me.